Tonight was extremely busy, what with the Atomic Bowling and all. It seems like hundreds of 16-year old kids mob the place to bowl a little and take in the strobe lights and loud pop music. I don’t care much for it, but I don’t begrudge any of them for having a good time.
Anyway, one kid came up to the snack bar tonight asking for macaroni and cheese. For real.
I didn’t know what to say – I mean, there’s not even the most remote mention of macaroni and cheese on our menu. Where in the bleeding hell did he come up with macaroni and cheese? I have to admit that I fumbled around a few seconds trying to utter the right words. I think I said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, we don’t have macaroni and cheese, but I have cheese fries and cheese pizza , if that works okay for you”.
Evidently, this didn’t really work for him. Dare I say, it enraged him quite a bit. He ended up launching into some huge diatribe about how this bowling alley “sucks” and is “gay”, and “fucking stinks like the inside of an ASS”, etc. etc. Then he smashed the ketchup dispenser and flung the napkin thing off the counter.
I wasn’t sure how to handle this kid – he could have been all jacked up on something for all I know. It’s not every day that you see someone get out of hand like that. So I did the only thing I could think of on short notice…
… I said, “Macaroni and cheese, coming UP!”
And then I cut up some pizza into small thin strips, threw in a few french fries, and tossed it all into a cup. I squeezed some mustard on top for color, stirred it up with a fork, and away we go. I handed it to the kid, said, “That will be $3.50 please,” and collected his money.
He quietly paid me, took the cup, and walked off. I never saw him the rest of the night.
I still don’t know what the hell his deal was.
I would like to think that I invented some new alternative kind of macaroni and cheese tonight, but I think it’s more likely that whatever drugs this kid was on ended up wearing off, instead.
