Claw Machine Spoils, Part Three

The tally tonight from the Claw Machine:

(1) Stuffed Lizard, green and ugly

(2) Small plastic footballs, logos unknown

(1) T-shirt with cartoon sad face and some text that was unclear to me

(1) Stuffed Monkey, brown

Evangelism UNLEASHED!

Tonight I managed to catch a couple of guys brawling with each other.  Fights don’t really happen here too often – certainly much less frequently than you would think – but from time to time there are a few scuffles among patrons here and there.

After a few minutes of pushing/shoving/pummeling/profanity/etc. the security guys (e.g. “bouncers”) managed to separate these guys.  In the ensuing aftermath, I tried to glean as much information as I could.  The police came and took a report and everything.

Evidently, the whole fight started when one guy went up to the other, asking if he could talk to him about “his religion”.  The religious guy then went on to talk about whatever precepts comprise his beliefs and whatnot.   The guy who was caught up in this listened politely and kept trying to get out of the situation (politely, again, as I understand it).

When the religious guy got to the point where “California gets so many wildfires because they legalized gay marriage”, the other guy took exception to this and the discussion became much more heated.  They went back and forth for a little while, getting louder and louder, and the whole thing got out of hand when the religious guy took a swing at the other guy.   All I know is a 13-pound bowling ball went flying through the air at that point, and the two guys started wrestling each other on the ground.  Subsequently, they were broken up and the bouncers burst onto the scene.

All in all, it was very exciting, and added a lot of juice to an otherwise boring evening.  I think I will start instigating religious zealots to get into arguments with other patrons.  It will totally be worth the effort.

Macaroni and Cheese

Tonight was extremely busy, what with the Atomic Bowling and all. It seems like hundreds of 16-year old kids mob the place to bowl a little and take in the strobe lights and loud pop music. I don’t care much for it, but I don’t begrudge any of them for having a good time.

Anyway, one kid came up to the snack bar tonight asking for macaroni and cheese. For real.

I didn’t know what to say – I mean, there’s not even the most remote mention of macaroni and cheese on our menu. Where in the bleeding hell did he come up with macaroni and cheese? I have to admit that I fumbled around a few seconds trying to utter the right words. I think I said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, we don’t have macaroni and cheese, but I have cheese fries and cheese pizza , if that works okay for you”.

Evidently, this didn’t really work for him. Dare I say, it enraged him quite a bit. He ended up launching into some huge diatribe about how this bowling alley “sucks” and is “gay”, and “fucking stinks like the inside of an ASS”, etc. etc. Then he smashed the ketchup dispenser and flung the napkin thing off the counter.

I wasn’t sure how to handle this kid – he could have been all jacked up on something for all I know. It’s not every day that you see someone get out of hand like that. So I did the only thing I could think of on short notice…

… I said, “Macaroni and cheese, coming UP!”

And then I cut up some pizza into small thin strips, threw in a few french fries, and tossed it all into a cup. I squeezed some mustard on top for color, stirred it up with a fork, and away we go. I handed it to the kid, said, “That will be $3.50 please,” and collected his money.

He quietly paid me, took the cup, and walked off. I never saw him the rest of the night.

I still don’t know what the hell his deal was.

I would like to think that I invented some new alternative kind of macaroni and cheese tonight, but I think it’s more likely that whatever drugs this kid was on ended up wearing off, instead.

Claw Machine Spoils, Part Deux

I managed to keep a pretty good eye on the claw machine today.  Usually it’s tough, because the snack bar is so busy, but tonight was pretty slow so I made myself focus on the claw machine at every possible opportunity.

Anyway, here is the official tally:

(1) Smiley faced yellow bean bag, medium

(1) Rubber football, labelled “Miami Dolphins”, I think.

(1) Half-Pint of JACK-FREAKIN’-DANIELS (!!!!)  (I have no clue who was the goddam joker who put that in the machine, but they should be freakin’ locked up for that little maneuver!)  It was neither cute NOR funny – I mean, some little kid could have grabbed it!  Luckily for us, it was a grown man who pulled it out of the machine.  We’re going to investigate the vending company to see what the hell the deal is.  I’m as sick and demented as the next guy, but even I wouldn’t plant an alcoholic beverage in a kids’ claw machine game!  There’s some sick fucks out there, let me tell you!

Back From the Dead

Glad to be back here and posting about the Bowling Alley again. I had to go away for a while due to some “extra-curricular activities” that may or may not have gotten me in trouble with the law. I don’t really want to discuss it here, but let’s just say that gambling has a tremendous number of pitfalls, depending on who you are betting with.

Yes, NEVER get involved with a “Fat Tony” type of guy.

That’s a tip, kids, trust me on that one.

Anyway, I’m glad to be back and out of my exile, so I will be posting more frequently again. Hope you’ve all been well, and avoiding the pizza with sausage, since the sausage is just chopped up pepperoni to begin with…

As for the claw machine, I have no clue what’s gone in or out of there since I’ve been away. I’ll try to keep a close eye on it from now on, so I can report back to you what interesting things come in and out of there.

Claw Machine Spoils

From my position in the snack bar, I get a pretty good view of the game room.  I am immediately opposite the claw machine – you know, that game where you put in your quarters and maneuver a robotic claw over some prizes in hopes of pulling one out for yourself.  I always found these incredibly difficult, but I know some people seem to have a knack for them. 

The one we have is pretty large, and modern, and is decorated with a huge clown face.  The prizes inside are mostly stuffed animals, but there are other assorted things, like miniature footballs and t-shirts all rolled up so they look like burritos.

Anyway, I’ve decided to start keeping a list of the prizes that people pull out of the machine when they win, at least whatever I’m able to see.  I think it will be interesting. 

So, without further suspense, here is the list of Prizes from the Claw Machine for Monday, 2nd June, 2008:

1. Stuffed monkey, blue
2. Plush iguana with paisley shorts, medium
3. Stuffed dog with sad face, small

That’s it for today – I’ll try to keep up with this in future, because it is silly things like this that I find fascinating.

Mundane Item, #1

Every place I’ve ever been that has a soda dispenser where you extract your own soda has an option for root beer.  (I suppose you could call it The Root Beer Option.)  The consistent thing about it is that it ALWAYS comes out insanely foamy.  You have to wait a minute or so for the foam to die down before you can finish pouring your cup.  It doesn’t matter which brand of root beer it is – Barq’s, Ramblin’, A&W, whatever – it ALWAYS foams up like no other soda does.   I don’t know why this is, but over the course of my lifetime as a root beer aficionado, I’ve come to accept it as just being part of the nature of Rootbeerdom.

Well, guess what – at our snack bar, the root beer comes out without this foaminess.  I have no clue why this is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.  I would like to think we don’t carry some non-standard root beer, but I have to admit I feel kind of dirty giving someone a root beer that doesn’t have the Excessive Foaminess.

Tommy Rambo Camps Out

Had the day off yesterday, so I took care of a few errands, went shopping, etc. I had heard that the new “Rambo” movie had been released on DVD, so I decided to go down to the electronics store and pick up a copy for Tommy. He is absolutely the biggest Rambo fan on the face of the planet. It’s frightening how much he knows about Rambo – seemingly every single bit of dialogue from every movie, along with all kinds of obscure trivia and whatnot. Anyway, Tommy has helped me out in the past with some things, so I figured I’d do something nice for the guy.

I picked up the DVD and brought it to the bowling alley today to give to Tommy. I figured he’d be all excited and whatnot, since this would be quite an unexpected surprise. Well, much to my chagrin, when I gave it to him, he told me thanks, but actually he had already picked it up. I was a bit shocked – I mean, this is brand new – it just came out within the past two or three days.

He explained further that he had camped out in front of the local Best Buy store the night before, so he could be there bright and early to secure his copy of the DVD the very same day it arrived at the store.

Yes – he camped out… in front of Best Buy… for a copy of “Rambo”… that wasn’t really in all that much demand to begin with. I tried to explain to him how unnecessary that was, how this wasn’t like a Wii where people were lined up by the thousands to obtain one. In fact, there were about 10 or 12 copies still on the shelf after I bought mine. He would have none of it, however, and informed me about how he figured that there probably wouldn’t be a large crowd, but that it was better to be safe than sorry.

So, long story short, I have a copy of “Rambo” on DVD sitting on my kitchen counter at home. It’s still in shrink wrap and I haven’t watched it. I probably will, though. We’ll see.

Thoughts re: Bowling Alley Bathrooms

League night last night, which is always very busy. Tuesdays and Fridays are always insane. I swear, these people drink a TON of beer and eat a TON of lousy pizza. I went to take a leak after some of the ruckus died down.

The bathrooms are okay here. The mens’ room has a condom machine, which is appropriate, I suppose. I mean, if the ladies’ room has a tampon machine, why shouldn’t the mens’ room have a dispenser for items that are inserted into the vagina as well? You know, equal rights and all that.

They Fight Like They Are Married

I have nothing to add to this: